Dear Santa, please define naughty?

Children have a very clear understanding what defines naughty and nice. In their minds, if they can't recall refusing to eat their vegetables,  putting their toys away, pulling the cats tail or hitting their younger sibling during the past week- well then, they were nice.

My beautiful daughter, once she got over her fear of Santa!

Even pets know when they are naughty. They look guilty.

This picture was taken 2 years ago just before my son's winter break his first year of college. He called to say how much he was looking forward to coming home for Christmas and sleep in his own bed. Being the loving parents that we are, we sent this picture to him saying we gave his room to the dog.

For adults there is clarity lacking on just what constitutes nice.

Dear Adults,
Santa has two simple words for you this season. MANNER UP! If you do not want to be on the naughty list,  here is what the man in red said:

5.) If you are taking the kids to see Santa and you have a screamer, there are just 2 choices. Leave immediately so the next 5 kids in line don't become screamers or sit with your kids on Santa's lap no matter how humiliating you find it. No, there is not a third option- regardless of how long you waited in line.


Yes, that's me sitting on Santa's lap with the my two little acorns- December 1996.
 If it looks like I'm constraining my daughter, I am. A moment later she started to cry and wiggled out of my grip and into the arms of her father. My son has never been afraid of Santa. You may have noticed his little booklet that he pasted all the toys he liked that year! Santa knew a problem when he saw it and suggested I come sit with them. I can still remember thinking how silly I felt. But it got my daughter over her fear and my husband still carries this photo in his wallet all these years later.

4.) There are restaurants for families and there are restaurants for adults. Know the difference. And, if for some reason you don't and sense that maybe a particular establishment is not kid friendly, go with your gut instinct, move out and move on to plan B. Please don't ruin everyone's night out just because you couldn't figure out yours. Oh, and there are restaurants for sick people, especially those who are coughing and hacking up god knows what-  it's called your house!

3.) Do not take a parking space you can see that someone is already waiting for.  If you can shop, you can walk from another space farther away. Same with you space stalkers, if the person hasn't left in a minute,  just find another space instead of backing up traffic and not allowing anyone else to leave because you saw it first! And, the fake handicap parkers, well Santa says he has some reindeer droppings that he needs to unload. Same goes for those of you who insist on backing into a parking space, but don't have the driving skills required.

Don't be the tree, someone may just be feeling a little Grinch-y and run you over.

2.) Santa has a special holiday message for all you loud cell phone talkers. When in a shop or restaurant put your @#$%^&* phones away. If you have an actual emergency there are quieter places like the vestibule or restroom. Or in case no one has told you before now, you really aren't interesting enough for the rest of us to be forced to listen to your conversation. The likely reasons you talk on your phone in public places are probably because you're uncomfortable standing/sitting alone, you're self absorbed or you're simply an ass. No one wants to hear what you just bought for who,  how much you spent, how your day was, what your plans are for the rest of the evening-day-year,  or what looks good on the menu. People like you take the HO-HO-HO out of the Holidays.

Madame, you could do better. Much better. I think I'm going to ask Santa if he can bring me that dress and wallpaper because I'm
certain I've been nice. Well at least this week,  I was home sick coughing and now I have laryngitis!

1.) Don't forget to hold open doors, say please and thank-you, be a good host/hostess and think of others that may be in need.  In general,  just be the most gracious and civilized version of yourself and then maybe...there really will be peace on earth.