Thursday, April 8, 2010

Confession: I Slept With Gerard Butler

It's the truth.  I make no excuses.  No, it wasn't planned.  Yes, my husband is away.  Of course I regret it.  But, if you must know, only because of the dull ache and indent on my forearm from the sharp edge of his thin white spine and the crazy dreams that followed of fragmented images and misguided design.

I tried to resist him, but he was here for 2 whole days.  I mostly ignored him.  Well yes, there were long admiring glances and an occasional smile as I passed him lingering in the living room.  But, I told myself I was far to busy to invest any real time for the thrill of a few photos.  That all ended last night.  I caved.  I asended the stairs embracing him in my arms.  I turned the lights down low, and began to read.  He talked only of his loft.  I could tell he desperately wanted my approval.  I tried to say flattering things.  Such as how I admired his good sense in selecting the right designer to execute his style.  But, I quickly ran out of words and drifted off to sleep.

When I awoke, there he was grinning, looking a bit rumpled.  Him sitting in this chair could have been the beginning of a beautiful relationship, but it was not meant to be.  I had to relay my true feelings and told him that I thought these spaces are far too theatrical for the context of a New York loft.  He said that was the point.  Well, then you have disappointed my perception of what I thought your home would look like.  So, darling, unless you plan to dazzle me with something classic and sophisticated befitting of your Hollywood resume...it's over.  Reduced to nothing more than a cheap one night stand.  And, oh Gerry,  I am sorry if you thought I could keep this little secret between us.  Oops!  I'm a blogger...we share everything!!!

House Tour:









Whatever Gerry!

images courtesy of Architectural Digest
                                                                                                                                                                    

44 comments:

  1. You had me going for a minute! I love Gerard Butler!

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  2. Oh, you naughty girl! He is awfully cute. His home is a bit over the top for me.

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  3. I 've said it before, I am drawn to the bad boys! Trying to attain some common sense at this stage!

    Karena
    Art by Karena

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  4. That's loft designed to lure the ladies if I ever saw one. Yes, it's theatrical and over the top but he's rich rich rich and probably won't live there very long anyway. Perhaps his next abode will please you. If he's lucky...

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  5. This is a great post.

    xoxo

    Marija

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  6. Hilarious! Your post, AND his attempt at having his people create a cool loft for him....makes him a bit less hot in my book (but only just the slightest bit). :)

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  7. Wow...this is just...bizarre. Seriously, there are no words. It's like some decayed Italian villa meets a run-down beach shack...loft-style. WTF?!

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  8. This is a hoot! I am starting my own blog and had planned to spotlight "Gerry," as well, but you have done it much more creatively than what I had in mind! Love it! I love his place, too and don't find it bizarre in the least. I'm particularly drawn to the plastered walls. He can ask me over any time! (Don't tell my hubby.)

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  9. What a delicious post! I can see a romance novel in your future...

    Nice to see his place is so lovely and tasteful, unlike the horrendously modern and tacky home of Jennifer Aniston - I never liked her anyway (sorry!) so was pleased and not surprised to see she lives in an ugly home.

    It is always nice to know some actor you like has an amazing place and good taste.

    Great post! xo

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  10. Kim, your comment made me laugh out loud!

    Marija, thank you!

    Tina, the scoundrel!

    P&H and Windlost, it seems my humor may have been confusing...for the record, I do not care for these spaces one bit, but fully respect that my taste is not your taste.

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  11. You are hilarious! Come to think of it, I slept with him too. Read the mag in bed the other night. ;-)

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  12. Go over to The House of Beauty and Culture and compare notes on Mr. Gerard's loft. It's quite the buzz. I enjoyed the post, thanks.

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  13. You are too funny. His home is an interesting mix... especially after the Jennifer Anniston cover last month. If given a matching game, I likely would have matched the wrong celeb with the houses.

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  14. You KILL me! Thanks for taking my mind off my bleedy nose.

    And this is not what I would have expected. I would have pegged him for animal skins and Italian contemporary leath-uh.

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  15. Great Post !! you made me laugh so hard ...I've also slept with Gerry ....many times indeed LOL !
    I love Gerard Butler ...I love him since he was an unknown actor and took part in a British tv serial called The Jury .His performance was just amazing.
    On the other hand I think his home seems like taking from the past.There is a feeling of mistery that flows through every corner .I'm sure it's because of the Druid that lives inside him xD
    ups !...sorry , Gerard Butler always makes my imagination runs wild :D

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  16. You Dawg you!

    I think he needs just one more chandy over his table.

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  17. LMAO. Boy, that man sure does get around :) It seems he has been sleeping around with a lot girls here.
    Your gift of writing is wonderful.
    xo

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  18. Now that was funny! I have the mag sitting at my house, beckoning in the only GB can, but the images of that loft- yuck. It's like all his fantasies of living in a Scottish castle come to life. Of course, the idea of GB wandering the castle in a kilt... a girl can have her dreams.

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  19. Hahaha! This is the best recap I have seen so far....i doubt anyone will be able to top it. Cheers!

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  20. OMG your title is an attention grabber. Gerard is one popular bedmate here hehe. I love the style, very old-world, classic and mysterious. I hope it's the true reflection of the man himself.

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  21. hahahhahaah LOVE THIS POST

    you're hysterical.
    xoxo

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  22. ps- did i mention i don't know who he is???

    i'm seriously under a rock!!!

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  23. Such a great post, I have him sitting on my entry table too! haven't opened up the issue yet! so funny!

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  24. love the post, you are too funny. interesting his house was featured after J. Anniston's....

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  25. Ornate done right - I love the mix of guilt and wood in these places!

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  26. Hi,
    Can I just start by saying Who the heck is Gerard Butler????? The only thing I really covet is the wing-backed chair he is sitting in and the island bench in the kitchen....you can keep him and I'll just have those two things. I'm a seriously obsessed interior junky. Had to laugh at the above comment from Windlost, don't ya just imagine that these stars live in these beautiful homes, inside as well as outside, but as the saying goes, just 'cause you have money doesn't mean you have good taste and more often than not they are really fugly!!!
    Take care
    Janine
    XXOO
    Tasmania, Australia

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  27. I just couldn't understand all those chandeliers.
    But I do like his accent.

    Thanks so much for the sweet birthday wishes! I had a lovely one!

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  28. Oh ya! I'm right there with you girl! What a beautiful place he has.
    (sorry I couldn't call while in town, it was c-r-a-z-y!) another time..

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  29. I did not sleep with Gerard Butler but we did exchange a few glances at the grocery store. I'm sorry but after peeking at A.D. just to see his loft my love/Lust wavered a bit. Yuck, way over done and I had him pegged as a lover of modern but that was not based on any fact just my own imagination. Great post.

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  30. hilarious, you are hilarious!!!

    great title, but i did feel a tad dirty since he was here too. glad i tossed him to the side in disgust, could not tolerate that loft but then again..........sigh........
    debra

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  31. Such a witty and clever post--and yes, he is dreamy!

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  32. You had me there for a minute. He is a cutey but his home is icky. All that dark-English manor-drafty home.

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  33. Wow, I hadn't looked at AD, but thanks for sparing me the trouble....WHAT is going on in that loft - yikes! I guess the flair for drama carries over into his surroundings. Have a great week!

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  34. He should really be ashamed, taking of advantage of you and all those chandeliers-a shop and a bad one at that. You were so right to break it off-some things can't be overlooked. what a charming look at such a hideous place. pgt

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  35. girl, you know how much i hate that fucking loft, but i would bj him till his head popped off. in my place.
    i have added you to the roll A & A. big ups to your blog.
    sors its taken me so long to do it...

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  36. Heeeelarious! In my humble opinion the loft doesn't fit the bloke. Perhaps if he was sitting there in the buff we'd appreciate his pad in a whole different way? It won't be the last time I'll say it, I love that Scotsman. I mustn't be a hog however as I do have one of my own. I adore your blog I found my way via Sande @ a Gift Wrapped Life.
    Lovely weekend to you ~

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  37. #1 Does that woman seriously not know who Gerard Butler is??

    #2 I LOVE your bed! Share more pics of it if you haven't already! :)

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  38. Hilarious...and you had me for a minute there! I love your headboard! Please post some photos of that bed!

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  39. Yes, really hilarious. But you know this man gave someone his AMEX and let them do "whatever." I mean, no man would do this!
    I quite agree with you. Kinda turns me off to him. Oh well, there's always Russell Crowe.
    xx's
    your blog is beautiful

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  40. I'm cracking up at your post and I know I'm tardy to the Party, but I LOVED his loft. Such a coincidence that I just found your blog today and happened to scroll down to this post since I just posted on mine about his super duper fancy loft, myself! We'll have to agree to disagree.
    Love your blog, though and happy to have found it. =)

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  41. AMEN SISTA!!!!!!!

    Mylittlerivercabin.blogspot.com

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