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Friday, December 3, 2010

What Not To Buy!

Every year I am amazed at some of the ridiculous things I see in stores, catalogues and online being passed off as gifts or stocking stuffers. Before you take out that credit card ask yourself these questions:

1.) Is this item remotely useful?
2.) Is this really funny?
3.) What are the chances it will be re-gifted?
4.) Is there a chance it will be added to the recipients donate pile?
5.) Could it end up in the garbage!?

If your shopping this weekend... a few examples of what not to buy:

Themed sweaters. Even Betty White is too cool for these.

If you need a mouse to remember where your glasses are...
see your docter or therapist.

Fuzzy Fingers.  Dare you to use this in public.

Bag caps. Does this mean twist ties & clips no longer work?

Zipper light for adults. For those who lose themselves...often.

Tattoo puppets. For children, but worn by adults. Creepy.

Cook hook. Seems awfully low.  I predict stains on those khakis.

Purse butler.  I thought that was your husband or boyfriend?

I'm just not sure how yellow & brown liquids
 pouring from dog butts says Happy Holidays?


  1. Okay, that made me laugh out loud. I always look at that sorry display in the middle of the mens clothing with all the ridiculous gadgets and wonder who comes up with the idea that men want those ridiculous gadgets? And really, is a nose hair clipper an appropriate Christmas gift?

  2. Ridiculous gadgets, ridiculous gadgets, ridiculous gadgets. Say that five times fast. And I would count the tacky Christmas sweaters/sweatshirts this weekend on our historic home tour, but my brain would explode. I lost count Wednesday night just on those who were at choir practice. Sorry for the two posts...I have ADD today.

  3. I love you! My mother in law needs to read this, she is guilty of purchasing the most ridiculous money wasting items, she thinks they are so clever and fun, and even my kids usually roll their eyes! And, I have received that purse hook thing, and of course never ever used it...or even know where it is! Keep these fun and clever posts coming...they are keeping me sane and smiling! xx

  4. Ok, I think you just about covered it here! Going straight out to get some of these for my enemies!

  5. So hilarious! I have some very dear family members who have purchased these types of 'gifts' since I can remember...for us and them, and they always end up, unused, in a drawer or box somewhere, never to be seen again (by us...they actually use there's, kind of).
    And let me tell you, Miss. Ginger my little Dachshund friend, was a little offended by the oil & vinegar pourers, and I can't say that I blame her!
    xo J~

  6. God, how I hate holiday sweaters/sweatshirts! My friends and I have an annual "ugly sweater party" though and it's always great fun to see what we can dig up at Goodwill (where I'm sure most of those things end up eventually anyway!).

    PS - I gotta admit, I kinda like the oil/vinegar dachshunds. But I'll admit to having a bit of a soft spot for all things dachshund (even cheesy things!).

  7. Oops! I have to admit to having a purse butler, but in my defence I use it to hang my crash helmet on when we've been a ride out and stop for refreshments :o) (It's not strong enough to hang my purse on!) LOL

  8. Useful, beautiful or desired are my criteria! These are scary little items - luckily I haven't received any of them and I can pinky promise I will NOT be buying any for anyone else! :)

  9. Hi,

    I am guilty of calling in and reading every post but not leaving a comment. Am rectifying that right now!!!! This post put a smile on my face, I would hate to receive any of the above presents. I have received a garish present and it's awful to have to plant a fake smile of pleasure on my face, pretending to be pleased and hoping they can't tell how much I hate it!!! lol.....I've also caught up on the last couple of posts and I just have to say.....I think your list of do's and don'ts for the decorating are spot on. I was in the shops the other day and couldn't help but think the decorations are average this year, nothing seems to blow me away this year. (Probably a good thing, as there is a issue of storage for 10-11 months of the year). Anyway, enough from me....hope you have a good start to your weekend.
    Take care
    Tasmania, Australia

  10. Great post! Gave me a chuckle. Unfortunately, I had already bought one of the bag caps...Container Store gets to me that way...and it is too hard for me to open! So twist ties...come to Mama!

  11. you are cracking me up!!!

    so true
    so true

    my nightmare is to receive a piece of xmas apparel.


  12. Too funny! Those doggies are awful....

    However...I thought the purse butler gadget was sort of clever! No?

    funny stuff, Kelley

  13. I love you. I laughed all the way through. I think someone gave me one of those purse butlers last year. Not sure which drawer that one ended up in.

  14. Laughed out loud at the purse butler comment - and I truly never understood that - perhaps for people who don't deign to put their bag on the floor? Most entertaining!

  15. This made my day. I love it! Thank you for some holiday humor.

  16. Your posts are always so funny...thanks for making me smile. I am not sure I would want to drink out of a wiener either.

  17. Oh, I have seen so much of this, ah, stuff, in the catalogs and it boggles the mind. I can't manage the stuff I already have let alone what these companies think I need.


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