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Friday, July 8, 2011

Oh, Behave!

I can be a bit nutty with list making. I step it up anytime I travel. I have this list that goes on and on of things I must do before departing for fun.  I make lists for my husband and kids of what I think they need to get done too. The act like it's poison when I try to hand it to them.  It doesn't matter if it's 2 days or 2 weeks, I am possessed and powerless to stop myself from being one car ride away from the nut house. Driven (fast) by my husband with the kids in the back seat...smiling.

It seems it is not enough to have on my list the "normal" things to-do such as: laundry, pay bills, stop mail and pack. Nope, I have a whole other list. These are the items that I must do in order to relax and enjoy myself. And, the really twisted thing is that I am fully aware of how unnecessary it probably is that I accomplish these things, but I do it anyway. Every time. No exceptions, including today. I ran around like a nut checking things off my list including: file every last receipt and paper (just in case...), drop off dry cleaning (that nobody is going to wear), have the car serviced (even though we're flying), clean the house (in case someone breaks in, I couldn't live with myself if someone thought I was messy), clean out the fridge (who knows, we may have completely different taste prefrences when we return), hit the bookstore (in case there aren't any where I'm going), get a manicure and pedicure (a true vacation must), make returns (I can not possibly explain why this can't be done when I get back), and one quick purchase (I swear I needed this). I am in a good mood despite the list because I've been crossing things off all week and I'm on schedule to get it all done. Or so I thought.

We all know at least one person, be it friend, co-worker or  family member who thinks they are not allotted the same 24 hours per day as the rest of us, in which to manage their time. Or even worse, they think that their time is far more valuable than ours. We know the traits of this type: selfish, self-centered, unorganized and unapologetic. I personally think these types are huge part of why our society lacks manners and civility.

Today, during my scheduled appointment at the local salon, a women (aka Madame client) came in with her daughter and stated her daughter needed her (long) hair cut and blown dry and that she needed her eyebrows done. Not sure what that entailed. Maybe she doesn't own tweezers? She wanted my technician (one of the owners) to do both procedures.  When she was informed it would be about 10 minutes, she scoffed left and returned exactly 10 minutes later, demanding to be taken. My technician instructed her brother (the other owner) to cut the daughter's hair and the Madame client literally stood over us and waited while my nails were being finished. Madame client talked on her cell phone, loudly, torturing us all with the details of her day.

Why don't people realize that strangers don't want to know what you ate for lunch, what your boss said or what you're doing the rest of the day. It's quite possible the person your talking to doesn't want to know. Why aren't cell phones banned in salons? Aren't salons and spa's suppose to be relaxing? I digress. Oh, the look on Madame client's face when my nail tech made a little smudge and had do one nail over. I looked at Madame client smiled and shrugged as if to to say "see what happens when you don't have an appointment and make people wait longer." I paid and left, still in a good mood.

Next up, retail therapy. Well not exactly. I needed to make a return of three items and buy one item. Sounds simple enough right? Nope, I had someone new. After several attempts to do the return, she suggested it may take awhile because she is not exactly sure what to do, but if I wait while she helped her friend she'd figure it out. WTF!? Sure enough,  the woman with an unruly child hovering (what is it with people thinking it's okay to stand 2 inches away from you anyway? Bugs the crap out of me) behind me is the friend. The clerk bends down and starts rummaging through her purse trying to find a 20% off coupon to give her friend. I am not kidding. Then she sees I am holding one, and says "can I use that for her items and then we can do your transaction?" I am not kidding.  I said "Sure, your friend can have my coupon, just as soon as you're done with my transaction that I have been so patient waiting for you to figure out how to do." Are you ready for what comes next? The clerk says, "but that will take longer and she needs to go now." I want to rip her head off so she would shut up and not say another thing that would ruin my good mood and distract me from my list.

Instead, I say "I suggest you call someone over here to help you do my transaction now or I will have to locate the store manager and report your behavior captured on the camera above. In this moment, I think about all the people who desperately need a job and wonder how someone like this has one? She looks up at the camera and then makes a quick call to an associate for directions and was finally able to check me out. I bolted down the isle because now I am feeling a bit behind. And, just when I think it's over...the friend runs up behind me and says "I need your coupon!"  My response? "Sorry, I am running late now and don't have time to search through my purse." I wonder if any of these women will remember to behave next time they find themselves having difficulty managing their time?

Of course, what I really want to know is what weird things you do, dear readers, before you go on vacation? C'mon make me laugh so I can improve my mood...otherwise I may pack something ugly!

All of these lovely ladies were found on Google.


  1. Ok - here it is. The sad truth...I have to clean the house before we go on any trip. Why, I have no idea. Except for our fabulous dog sitters, there is usually no one expected to visit while away! Go figure, well at least when we return we are welcomed by our happy to see us pets and a sparlking clean home. Great posts, BTW!

  2. Very amusing and sadly or not I could so relate to so much of what you wrote. I am the list queen as I am known, I actually write down all my possible outfits doing a vinn diagram ( a sloppy one) to show how many things can be used more than once, weird I know! Cleaning the house, a must be spotless before I go, even if we are leaving at 2am the beds must be made, dishes put away,etc....I being a bit OCD must check all outlets and switches more than once which this little ritual makes ME crazy, forget what it does to my family! And I am also a ziploc queen too....everythign goes in little ziplocs, even our tickets. iteneraries, yep everything gets organized like little soldiers in their ziplocs and sometimes I even whip out the sharpie! Sounds like you really could use this vacation and I am the same as you HATE when anyone much less a perfect stranger is on top of me, I have actually turned around and given them the evil eye which says back off buddy! So annyoing and rude. I am doing a post next week on my pet peeves, think you might enjoy it:) Bon voyage and safe travels!!

  3. Rebecca, I am not the typical list maker. I do make a list for trips and parties, things that are out of my norm. Daily stuff I just keep in my head( or not). I am totally with you on the rudeness of (clerks) in this day and age. They can not make eye contact, they can't hear what you are saying. I think if I texted them I would get better service!! I love the way you handled your situation, especially about the coupon, Too funny!! Once you get on the plane you will take a deep breath and you will have the best time ever. Especially after today!!!
    I don't clean before I go and I only do what I absolutely have too. I get in vacation mode before I pack, I guess. Just enjoy your time away!! xo Kathysue

  4. Oh Rebecca, this cracked me up. People have NO manners anymore. I do the VERY same thing getting ready to be out of town. In fact I am leaving tomorrow to drive to Little Rock (9.5 hours...uggghhh) to see hubby who is on business there. The entire house has been cleaned, all laundry done, plants watered and taken care of while I am gone, nails done today, food made for car trip...etc. I like ziplocs bags too for organizing my suitcase. I keep them in my suitcase for use each time. Weird. Us OCD types can make ourselves crazy with organizing our organizing!

    Have a great trip and RELAX....BREATHE! Enjoy!


  5. Oh my gosh, this is hilarious...well except for the crazy rude people you encountered! I'm pretty sure my daughter works with all of the rude people you listed, especially Madame Client! I was returning a cart to a True Value store today so I had to cross traffic in the parking lot to get back to the store. A car stopped to let the people in front of me go, and then I waited while a second car rolled up a few seconds later behind them. The lady in the second car literally raised her finger and wagged it at me to tell me not to try and cross (hello?! I'm a pedestrian...I HAVE the right of way!) and then she pointed to herself and pointed to the direction she was going. I got back in the car and told my husband that I had never seen anything like it in my life! She didn't even wait for the people who had crossed a few minutes earlier, she would have only had to wait for ME! Some days I just really wish the world would let me carry a badge and a least a stun gun! ;-) Anyway, I'm the queen of list making before vacation too, but at least you get everything crossed list only ever gets partially finished! My husband's theory is that I will expand the list which includes cleaning, errands, etc. to whatever time is available!

    Have a wonderful vacation and thank you for my email today, it meant a lot!

    Kat :)

  6. Oh I must clean before I leave. Just so I don't ruin the vacation when I get home by seeing 48 things I need to do besides unpack, etc. I am making two lists right now until I think of another kind of list to add to it!
    My husband has a knack for calling me on my cell while I am in line at the grocery. I generally answer, make sure nothing is on fire and inform him I am in line and cannot talk. I think people think I'm nuts for extending that simple courtesy that they never thought to do themselves.
    I have to qualify this with the fact that people are surprisingly polite where I live, just an hour south of you. :)

  7. I go on a serious cleaning frenzy when we go away.
    I also have to make sure everything is unplugged, and I do mean everything! I also leave the house always with all the beds having fresh sheets and the bathrooms with fresh towels as thats a nice thing to come home to!
    Enjoyed this post.

  8. I'm in the middle of packing for LA next week and the list making is about to begin. Then I will get the plea/lecture from my husband that goes, "we're packing light for this trip, riiiiiight???" as he eyes the 12 pairs of shoes I have lined up for a 5 day trip. Poor guy. I also feel like the house must be immaculate so I don't blow a fuse when I come home. sigh.....well I better get packing. Have a great vacation!

  9. Rebecca - I think you handled both situations perfectly!! I am not nearly as organized as you - over the years I have somehow morphed from a left brained fanatic to a right brained fury.

  10. Great post! I am a list gal too! In fact, my lists have lists! When it comes to traveling, I need all beds to be made and the home in order. I don't like the thought of returning to a home that is a mess. I thrive on order. Oh, how rude of the lady to speak to people in such a tone and to speak loudly on her phone. What is with manners? Do they not exist any longer?

  11. This was such a great post and so indicative of life today! I am continually making lists before going on vacation. The only trouble is I make several lists on different pieces of paper and never consolidate, so end up leaving something off the list!

  12. this post had me laughing out loud! i am a total list maker and doer of ridiculous things before going away! and the part about people standing so close...we lived in naples, italy for 4 years...they pretty much stand on top of you in line!! it drove me nuts!! thanks for sharing...and i hope you are having fun on your vacation!

  13. If I'd have acted like that at ANY of my retail jobs I would have been fired on the spot. That's insane and I'm glad you didn't capitulate. Good for you!

  14. I loved this post Rebecca, seriously, we all do the same things but I loved what you did at the retail store, I would have been a tad more vocal and to the pill at the salon. I always clean the house top to bottom because who wants to come home to a dirty house from vacation? I have to start packing a week and a half before we leave just to make sure I don’t forget anything and I have to be at the airport WAY earlier then needed so we don’t miss our flight and I’ve had the chance to get all the prerequisite magazines need for a long journey. It’s bizarre but I can’t help myself. I hope you enjoy your trip!

  15. This is so funny! I have a list just like this, I clean the house so that the people coming over to water and check the house do not think we are pigs! I unplug everything, drives husband nuts, becaue I read that it is a good thing to go before you leave. I clean the refridgerator because what if above mentioned people are hungry? I clean my office, shred everything, and do many of the same things you mentioned with clothes and returns and a book! Not to mention pack food for an army even when flying because what if I am stranded at the airport? Maybe they won;t have food I like.

    Have a great trip!

  16. Oh my word! She stood over you? I would have said "listen biatch, I am paying for my time and I don't want you hovering over me." Some people are just so rude it makes me sick. But, luckily, about 75% of the world are decent but those 25% sure suck!

  17. Thank you all for the comments, it makes me feel so normal!

    AO, both these women made it so hard to be polite, can you believe this was a department store? It's this one is not even on the list of my favorite places to shop. Perhaps this kind of crap was a reminder why!

    Carmie, that last true!!!


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